Dress the part - Confidence building tips from Mel Robbins and Ryan Serhant
Confidence is one of the most talked about factors helping achieve success in any area, business included. Most of us - no matter how successful and experienced - go through periods of lower self esteem from time to time. Everybody questions themselves sometimes and it’s not a bad thing in itself. What matters is how quickly we can get ourselves back to feeling confident and ready to take action.
I heard Dean Graziosi say in one of his training sessions that it’s crucial to protect your confidence levels to succeed. One of the ways to do this is to learn from successful people about how they keep themselves believing in their capabilities no matter what life throws at them. I find that hearing from big achievers about how they protect their confidence helps me put my insecurities in perspective, and shift into a different, more positive outlook.
One of the people I hugely respect and find very relatable is Mel Robbins, the best selling author of ‘The 5 second rule’ and ‘The High 5 habit’, motivational speaker and podcaster. I’ve recently discovered her Audible Originals series called ‘Here’s exactly what to do’ and it’s full of amazing tips and tactics helping keep one’s mind positive and focused on the good things. One of the episodes is about boosting one’s confidence. It’s only a little over half an hour long and I strongly recommend listening to it, it’s such a feel good, inspirational piece!
In this episode, Mel talks about 4 key tactics that she adopted to keep her confidence levels up; one of them is dressing up. I think it’s an interesting one, especially in the post pandemic world where most of us had weeks spent in our tracksuits in Zoom calls!
Mel talks about how dressing up makes us feel more confident, and even if we don’t feel it straight away ourselves, people are more likely to treat us more seriously and trust us more, if we’re dressed professionally. This non-verbal feedback can further boost your confidence and it creates this upwards spiral of feel good. She also talks about a social experiment, where the results clearly indicate people are far more likely to trust and follow actions of people who are professionally dressed, even if what they do is against the widely accepted rules. Apparently we’re far more likely to trust the judgment of someone wearing a smart suit than dressed casually. Regardless if we think it’s ‘right’ or not, this is scientifically proven, so worth bearing in mind.
In his book, Big Money Energy, Ryan Serhant also mentions the importance of looking your best at work and how it impacts your success score. Ryan is a celebrity real estate agent known for his part in Million Dollar Listings, a reality show presenting the life and work of top realtors selling high end properties in New York City. Since the success of the show, Ryan went on to start his own group of companies including an estate agency brand, a media company, an online training business and more. In his book, he talks about how looking sharp and professional helped him gain trust of well established and successful clients even when he was just starting out. He warns against looking too eccentric or casual when what you want is someone seriously business focused trusting you with their latest property project worth millions of dollars. The whole book is great and I strongly recommend it - it gives practical tips and tools on how to be successful in business while being written in a personal, friendly tone with lots of funny stories as an added bonus.
Looking ‘the part’ means very different things in different industries. While for Ryan Serhant, going to a client meeting not wearing a well cut suit and an excellently matched tie is not an option, we wouldn’t expect an artist or a creative director of an advertising agency to look the same. On the contrary, if the latter showed up to a pitch in a classic suit and tie, they might risk being perceived as a bit boring and safe, when what we expect from creative people is pushing the boundaries, being a little eccentric and very free thinking.
What we wear doesn’t only affect how we feel, it is also a non verbal communication channel. I believe taking the time and being mindful of what we’re wearing for work can be a great tool for boosting success - not only because it makes us feel good, but also because it helps us communicate to the people we work with. It helps put across that we’re serious about our own success, that we love our work and we’re a great partner. One of the famous quotes by Marilyn Monroe sums it up nicely - “give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world”. It’s important to know what the ‘right pair’ means for you.
